Contemplations, Vol. 09

Turning off the spiritual noise to find your humble, willing heart

There comes a point in our spiritual journeys where we need to put the books down and simply be in the world.

When I first started actively seeking a spiritual path, I was diving into as many books, courses, and teachings as I could. I wanted the knowledge and wisdom of those who had walked the path before me.

Soon, I was able to regurgitate the information I had consumed like the back of my hand. I felt like I had discovered all the secrets of the universe and I wanted everyone to know.

But what a true spiritual path eventually calls forth is not knowledge, but rather wisdom. And the only path to true wisdom is lived experiences… often painful ones.

And by that I mean: holy shit my life feels like it’s inside of a blender inside of a dumpster fire inside of a tornado, wtf is going on!!!

Some might call this a spiritual awakening, some might call it an initiation, others might call it a dark night of the soul.

Whatever it is, it will make you question absolutely everything. It will take you straight to your knees and have you praying to God in a way that only the sharp honesty of life can do.

Simply put: you will be humbled.

But if you’re brave enough to feel whatever you’re going through, like really, really feel it, you will be brought straight to Source.

For me, I hit a series of rock bottoms over the course of several years before I started integrating the wisdom of my life lessons.

Then, in 2019, something strange started to happen…

I stopped being able to retain or even remember any of the information I had been consuming all these years. In fact, I increasingly felt downright repulsed by the books, the courses, and the gurus.

This all came to a head in 2022, while I was living in the English Countryside.

I woke up one day, packed every single self-help book and crystal I owned into a box, drove into Glastonbury, and sold all of it. I unfollowed every spiritual “teacher” on Instagram. Everything had to go.

I felt so much relief, but also a sense of confusion.

What is going on?

Since then, I’ve realized that my soul was guiding me back to me. I didn’t need crystals, books, courses, astrologers, or anything external to dictate my path. I needed a humble, willing heart, and I needed God.

Spirituality is incredibly simple.

If you’re feeling the call to simplify, to stop seeking, listen to that nudge… because I’d venture to say that God might just be seeking you.

Not through burning Palo Santo or pulling oracle cards, but through the spring flower budding in your yard or the sweet smile of an elder.

Recently, I’ve slowly been re-incorporating some of my old practices back into my life — listening to the podcasts, journaling, burning the odd sage stick, pulling cards from the odd oracle deck. And if you do these things regularly that’s okay, I’m not here to say what is and isn’t spiritual. Not at all.

But if you’re not pausing and connecting with the very human world around you, I invite you to do so.

Because if you’re reading about God or nature, that’s all fine and good, as George Washington Carver said, but if you walk in the woods or even through your local grocery store, and you listen and watch carefully, you will learn more than what is in the books, for God is all around us.

Love & Prayers,
Kelly

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This months quote is by George Washington Carver (c. 1864–1943), a Black American scientist and educator who challenged the idea that farming had to come at the land’s expense. In the post–Civil War South, he introduced crop rotation and developed new uses for overlooked crops, helping farmers rebuild both their soil and their independence. His work proved that when you work with nature, everything changes. He was one of the most prominent Black scientists of the early 20th century.

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